funny responses to what are you doing this weekendwho is susie wargin married to

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This meme will hilarious remind them. *In my case, Z has agreed to push the Ask her yourself button instead of passing messages along. Oh thanks capn for the hilarious answers!!! Born and bred in southern California, how are you? asked of/by a stranger functions, for me, like any scripted greeting, pretty comparable to an all right with or without the interrogative in that a detailed (or even particularly honest) response is not expected and in many cases wont be acknowledged because it wont be heard (because no one is listening for it). Them : Ah, then Ill get back to you (They never get back to you). Me: Nope. Im busy! Ive now got a standard policy of dont know, Ill have to check my calendar and get back to you. The hubs and I do the same. Julia has been . And just because my plans dont include hanging out with anyone or leaving my home, it doesnt mean that I am free or willing to cancel them. So of course, you tell her, youll all walk separately from now on (keep the cheery loud voice of happy certainty and smile hugely the whole time). Them no problem, I hope things are going well for you. Vacuuming the cat or shaving the yak* or something. What are you doing for dinner? The only tricky part I have encountered so far is if you actually say you are busy doing [thing] and instead have planned to watch the Winter Olympics with your cat, perhaps do not write an update about that to Facebook. Like, if you say you have nothing really planned, and you get asked to babysit or on a date, are you actually okay saying Sorry, cant this time? I usually end up saying something noncommittal like I might be doing xyz, but Im not sure yet why? and waiting to see what the actual deal is. Of course, you can replace "great" with any adjective (positive or negative) that describes your day in a general way. hours of 8 p.m. and 1 a.m. on Friday and Saturday because it will make you seem like you don't have anything better to do on the weekend. Im white. :) Hope you like our compilation and try to stay serious ,please . 1. If you dont want to go, just say so. @Kacienna: Im saying that because in other posts, people have literally advocated for saying just No, thanks! to an overture like We should get coffee sometime. And I mean that is not just going to burn bridges, that is going to blow them up, and not just with the person youre speaking toits going to look Super Off to observers and cost you with them as well. But they seemed concerned that this type of answer was not appropriate or that there might be a better strategy. I was hoping you would be able to tell me that. To contact our editors please use our contact form. (My brother and sister in particular also had to learn from both their friends and myself that, just because they love me and love them doesnt mean that were all friends) I could only imagine if that question were followed by an expectation of service or freedom to assume I was going to a thing. If I always have to be the one reaching out, that can feel either like the emotional and planning labor are being taken for granted, or like they dont actually care whether they see me. Im trying to train her out of the habit. For example, I used to host (board and card) game nights at my home, and Id create an event on Facebook, invite everyone who was part of this group, and ask them to please let me know as soon as they knew whether or not theyd be there, at least by the day before, so I could plan how much food Id need to buy/make. If Im bothered by the question, I usually answer back with why ? or why do you ask ?. Baking a cake. Thinking of seeing [movie]. That's why this is one of the funny responses to "what are you going to do with your life" that you should keep in mind. I felt really connected to LW upon reading the letter! And if I do want to see her, then I just tell her something freed up in my schedule and ask if shes available or if theres anything she wants to do. And then when you part somebody accidentally says love you, too. Thats how it always happens for me, anyway. If you can walk away from them, they're successful. and then if I do end up wanting to do whatever it is they want to do, suddenly my schedule cleared up! They are called Saturday and Sunday." - Anonymous 3. Was he not getting back to her soon enough? Do you like, like me? Number 6 is my answer to " why don t u want to have kids ? As such, I like to preface it with taking care of some stuff. I think people are missing the fact that LW is talking about some instances of this running down lines of power and dominance, which is why this is such a problem. I mountain bike every weekend! I dont use it myself because I dont like the way it comes across. And I try to be easier on myself for not having more exciting weekend plans. So, sometimes it is a trap! It feels like a lot of just Use Your Words advice is setting people up for a shock when they realize that their coworkers or acquaintances are offput by it. 2. Aunt: Are you doing anything this weekend? E- Enjoying. I shall think on why. BOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Because our societys patterns absolutely will not let anyone think it could be possible that what I, for example, would be doing with that time is letting my brain process the mathematics that will lead to an invention that most of us will never hear about, but it will make all of our lives better. Wondering why you're in here. Yeah Im keen., I honestly never get asked this question as anything other than innocuous small talk. +1, Im the same way. Funny Responses to "What Are You Doing?" I love having something witty, funny, or even sarcastic cued up in response to one of the most common questions asked in any given day. Its the same here. Why, whats up?, Yessss exactly. I used to get really annoyed with this question from my sister, specifically, for the reasons LW gives. That is AMAZING and I love Gladys (and you) and that is going directly into my repertoire for Dealing With Those Extroverts. If I have no specific plans, she thinks my time is hers (but you said you were doing nothing! and she likes to be like cousin in example 3, re her children doing lots of stuff for her because thats what good kids are supposed to do (and if were not performing like good kids, then shes a bad mother ~guilt guilt~) and she doesnt like to ask directly* so it often comes across as manipulative or passive-aggressive). I immediately turn it around on them. But when asking, I still tend to ask in layers so the other person has many outs to either say no or express no. If the other person isnt in a chatty mood, we go comfortably silent after a few pleasantries because the Small Talk Gods have been appeased. And because family members pitch in. You're not obligated to tell others your plans for the future, if you even have them. But yeah. It took a LOOOOONNNNGGG time to train them out of, What are you doing this weekend? a coworker you dont hang out with outside of work asking this question on a Friday) and as a pre-request/invitation. Also, if you want people to drop the polite social conventions and be direct with youmaybe try directly telling them this? It's time to break the silence and let her know that she shouldn't be nosing into your business when her life isn't anything special. Any event. It is trickery and so frustrating. Yes, people use this question for all kinds of reasons, as LW said. Ive had a fear of seeming bossy or overbearing, but Ive found in the past few years that people really seem to appreciate someone getting the ball rolling. Its totally true that you can opt out of those things. I think w/ friends, if youre open to the getting together, you can say, Were you thinking of trying to get together? in a hopeful tone. I usually list a few of the things Im doing and treat it as a conversation starter, i.e., ask them about their weekend. Lets get together. But you have never issued a direct invitation to me in your life. Auto-reply email sample: Hi [first_name], Thanks so much for reaching out! Nothing much (I have one coworker who now sometimes asks me What are you doing this weekend? Thanks to this blog, mostly , Yeah, I also dont entirely understand how the question could be meant to make it easier to decline an invitation. its differential equations, 2. But I dont ask them where theyre from, because its really none of my business; there are other kinds of small talk to make. I have a colleaguestraight white well-employed middle-class-raised Christian cis man, so about as privileged as you can get in Americawho opts out of a lot of what he considers to be optional social stuff. Its aggravating, but it makes sense. I think the reason is that telling people about fun things is potentially fairly personal. !" The professor went to the restroom. Obviously Im talking here about people Im friendly with, not friend-friends, but I cant imagine having got to the stage of being friends with someone who was inclined to rebuff me expressing interest in their life. Sometimes people respond in a very vague way (oh just some family stuff), which will tell me that its private or they just dont want to discuss it with me and Ill drop it and switch topics. Im much better at saying no now, and I realize that in most situations saying no is a perfectly socially acceptable answer. There are still traces of that damage; Im still mad about it. Just treating it as a question of not disclosing/being private is entirely the wrong approach. Every time you see Pushy Neighbor, you go into this mode. This, maybe prefaced with mostly working or some generic busy thing. (Whether there will be some negative family fallback I dont know). Speak to US respectfully. Like oh youd rather do nothing at all than do this activity with me, wow., I wish I had better boundaries around that. I guess I run with a very specific social crowd and it hasnt occurred to me in a while that its not always doable to say Im going to do CRAFTS ALONE, its going to be awesome. But I used to be in a grad program where people were super competitive, and if I said oh my god Im going to stay in this weekend, Im so peopled-out people would be lowkey mean about how I wasnt networking/studying/running charity marathons enough. When I issue a soft invitation I am often not sure if the person wants to hang out at all, and getting a Yes, get in touch and let me know when youd like to do something would encourage me to go on and do the planning whereas Yeah, we really should I would be more likely to read as I dont really want to do anything. What are you doing Thursday is a way to start a convo gently and without losing face, giving the answerer has the option of answering negatively, positively, or neutrally. Do not copy, print, or repost entire posts elsewhere without written permission. Ah. I get that. Spot on, thank you. This breaks the meaningless exchange of localized variations in air pressure aspect of the typical greeting, and most people seem to respond favorably to having good things introduced into a conversation. Just kind of wanting to converse by text or something. Brief excerpts (<250 words) may be shared with attribution & a link to the original post. Yeah if I like the person and might be into it I usually friend-flirt with a depends on why!. ? I had a boss once who sometimes wanted to know if I could work overtime on the weekend, but sometimes wanted to know if there was quirky events on that her daughter might be interested in. I usually just respond with I have tentative plans with a friend why do you ask? Lots of wiggle room there. Helen Huntingdon, I dont want you to think Ive dismissed all your argumentsyouve certainly given me pause and gotten me to think about what my expectations are. Or why do I feel entitled to her presence and her company? Am I supposed to answer? IDK. Another option is to have certain chores that a certain person does (e.g. Good, the colors on the leaves are amazing (in Fall) Whenever people accept this answer, I know I am dealing with human beings who understand their goodness as a constant learning process. Spares you from having to say Great and feel like youre lying (which can be uncomfortable even when you *are* aware youre participating in a defined social ritual), but also averts the worry that if you say things are bad, the asker will pry for more details. It sounds like he'd get into some fun and adventurous dates. Shes moving and needs a van? Although you risk hearing all about the questioners plans. Amazing what showering can do for you. Im in my 20s and married, living away from home, but I feel like Im constantly playing tug-a-war with my parents and were fighting over boundaries. I have strong memories of my MIL telling my husband, shortly after wed married, I need you to clean out the gutters. Or maybe you need to come this weekend and clean out the gutters. I really minded that! Remember, . I honestly dont even know why people say it at all when Ive never seen a follow-up to it. So I know what youre talking about. Of course both people will vary from the scripts with personal style and the situation, but that is the general way it can go. heres what i dont get: why would it be a problem, in the scenario youve given, to say, eh, i wish, but im swamped this week, shitYXZs been happening, ill ping you next week tho. And I had to say to her, over the airport thing: Act like a grownup. LW has a LOT of reason to be bugged by this approach to seeking a date it carries a hefty implied threat because of what abusive men in our society have built it into en masse. Thats just how some people ask I suppose. "Weekends are days to refuel your soul and to be grateful for the blessings that you have." - Anonymous 2. Unless someone asked me, "What are you doing this weekend?". Situation #4: You have to say "no.". Should I keep doing what Im doing? - Anthony Burgess - Sunday clears away the rust of the whole week. Giving my notebook a bath. They are asking whether you want to go on a date with them on Thursday. Improve your attitude toward your family." - Bo Bennett 4. If they really are trying to manipulate you then Im afraid having just the right words wont fix it you will probably have to say no directly when they finally get to their request. And asking someone what theyre doing is not the same as issuing an invitation. Its okay that I dont want to tell my coworkers the details of what Im reading and I get to choose who I want to share details of my life with. ), OMG YES can this question please die FOREVER? I have a friend that would ask me what Im doing and when I say, Nothing the next thing is, Well, lets meet for lunch and then irritation and shock when I say Id rather not. ! OH ME TOO. And if its clearly just conversation, (and you want to participate further) offer up something else, For that matter, even confident people can fall into the What are you doing Thursday? trap when theyre trying to sound unassertive. Eventually I got consistent work as a freelancer, something I could do from home even when I was in pain or needed oxygen etc. In fact this letter reminds me a lot of a lady I knew once who moved to the US from a different english-speaking country and took offense to people asking her where she was from when they heard her accent. Is this just aimless small-talk? We assume you wont want to share all your more detailed baggage or bad news with someone you dont know very well and we are a little taken aback if you actually do because it indicates that you feel a level of closeness with us that we didnt necessarily feel with you. Hah. We went swimming in the lake and had a little bonfire." This is a good response to use when your weekend with family was more on the slow-paced side but was nonetheless enjoyable. Question bugs me too, so I figured out some noncommittal answers that hit the tennis ball back into the askers court where it belongs. I miss you though, can we plan dinner soon? And I have a date Saturday, but I would love to get a phone call-catchup on the calendar if youre freemaybe Sunday afternoon? (These examples are all people I want to spend time with I also use a lot of swamped this weekend! Im struggling not so much w/ her being at home as I am w/ my worries about her, and with trying to decide whats the best thing for me to doapply pressure? Add me as another one for Why? or Why do you ask? Because Ive discovered the people who ask what Im doing are usually people who want to ask me to do something they know I wont want to do (usually. Yes, my current circles understand introversion well, even the ones who themselves are extraverts . I think lots of people, especially women, are socialized to think that confidence is impolite, so they try to sound unassertive. I tell her every chance I get that Im grateful for all the emotional labor she does with categorizing her friend groups. Your parent or in-law will not die if they cant railroad your schedule. "When people ask me stupid questions, it is my legal obligation to give a sarcastic remark." 2. There are variants but this one is always appropriate in all situations. Im not sure it would work on modern creepy dudes. Thanks! You're going to want to keep your messages quite a bit shorter on apps like Tinder and Bumble .) Me: No can do. Your turn to tell me what you have in mind!. #1078: Sooooooowhat are you doing thisweekend?, Follow CaptainAwkward.com on WordPress.com. All of these. Just because at that one time it wasnt true doesnt mean that her reaction was irrational. A: I'm planning to just take it easy. Thats already happenedshe made a big stink about her dad telling her that they were all going to do something to support me at a time when I was really upset (something that would have taken about an hour of her time). You can say "because you're too hideous" or "because you're too old." Oh my goodness I didnt even realize this was posted and then it took awhile for me to read through all of the responses. People hinting around leading up to asking for dates: Pretty much the same deal, only much more dangerous. 1. Person A: Im fine. In the case of friends and dates, I feel like sometimes its a slightly manipulative way of getting me to do the actual asking / planning. Oh my god I have to go to (thing) which is (plaaaaace). It always made me think I looked tired or upset or maybe there was something wrong with my hair, because its the sort of thing I would only ask a friend/acquaintance/student if it seemed like they were distressed. And sometimes its due to the other person not grasping the soft no/non-answer to drop the conversation (generally people I am not already friends with, like the one bank teller who keeps on asking* and that I do find nosy/irritating). Basically the thing you wrote about duties like babysitting, expanded to fun events. You an also use it to deflect people like the commenters who are entirely not malicious, because it can serve the same purpose of filling small talk, providing a topic of easy conversation, and/or signaling that you are busy but flexible to people you actually like. And then you get people who let it go there and people who keep fishing (where are your parents from? etc etc because they think its impolite to ask WHAT are you, but they really really want to know, so they know what stereotypes to assign you, as you said, or even because theyre just curious, like youre an object). Her dad would not agree with a move to force her to move out. I hate it when people tell me whats best for me (more plans! I might hang out with some friends on Sunday. I feel like letting her sleep is far more important than my social life right now., Sorry, I know it sounds like a stupid excuse. )in a way that seems to be back firing. Indoor Cat says feeling unsafe would have been the most damaging to her relationships with her parents long term. Mittens and I can primal scream together. When we nearly got evicted from our housing situation, I was critically busy trying to find an apartment for me and the housemates, and it kind of annoyed me to have friends pinging me like Heyyy, I miss you, can we get lunch this week, without finding out if I was actually available first. Also, the teachers here will not do your homework for you. interactions that I think stand a significant chance of blowing up in peoples faces. Probably so he can finish the conversation with enjoy [fun thing]. I also used to use it a lot until a friend pointed out this problematic history, so paying her work forward. 1. I probably picked it up from my mom, who does the same thing. See how thats all about you, and your kids, and not at all about her? Why insist on these parental avenues of control and dominance over another adult, when it has already harmed your relationship and can only do more harm? Best of luck to you, dear LW! I suppose its more of an emotional labor thing? Flying in a rocket ship. What is the stuff?? He taught me that its always polite to leave someone a face-saving way out of a social situation, so if you want to ask someone to go do something, give them a certain date/time, so if they dont want to go they can say sorry I have other plans without anyone feeling awkward.

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