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And Heaven when you die. When I like them, I kiss them. Best. Heres to the nights well never rememberWith our friends, well never forget. I used to know a clever toast. Omar Khayyam, He who makes a beast of himself And to the aliens, we raise our glasses and say: thank you for your guidance and manipulation. Two at the very most. 11.) 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So what are you waiting for? My most brilliant achievement was persuading you to marry me.. Of all my favorite things to do,The utmost is to have a brew.My love grows for my foamy friend,With each thirst-quenching elbow bend.Beers so frothy, smooth and cold;Its paradise, pure liquid gold.Yes, beer means many things to me.Thats all for now, I gotta pee. 27. 52.) Whether you want to say a little more than 'Happy birthday' or you're celebrating an anniversary, bringing up your favorite toast is always appreciated. Heres to your liver!May it live as long as you last. Here are some examples of funny business toasts to give you an idea of what toasting should be like in formal occasions. A full bottle - three important things Credit: Pixabay.com / StockSnap Here's to a sweetheart, a bottle, and a friend. Lets have a toast to the incompetence of our enemies.Holly Black, 63.) The best ships are friendships, and to those ships, we drink., #11. Patrick Dennis, Steady your glasses Heres to a pal, no matter what the load To your genitalia: May they never fail ya, or jail ya. And by a toast I dont mean Cheers or Heres to you offering those is akin to christening a battleship with a Dixie cup. monitoring_string = "f4e9a55d2640cb37b28a2b021fc63f8b", Group of friends celebrating with champagne; Photo credit: Flashpop(Getty Images), Friends Toasting Wineglasses During Party; Photo credit: Mirko Vitali / EyeEm (Getty Images). Four and twenty highballs Heres to lying, cheating, stealing, and drinkingIf youre going to lie, lie for a friend. Sleep like a lamb 38.) What Happened To The Goonies Pirate Ship? (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({}); Copyright 2023 Imscouting.com.com All Rights Reserved. For one, they can help to break the ice at a party or gathering. Who wont give up and wont give in Always a good one to bring up as a wedding toast. ", "Here's to a long life and a happy one. 8.) Time is a waste of life. But please don't tell his wife! "May our sons have rich fathers and beautiful mothers." 2. #19. 36. Here's an Irish toast to your wedding: May the roof over your heads be as well thatched As those inside are well matched. And tell between the two. To hell: May the stay there be as fun as the way there. Show off your lyrical skills and impress your friends with this fun rhyme. There they are. God damn them! And to all the governments out there, remember: you may think youre in charge, but youre just pawns in the grand scheme of things. 22.) The best ships are friendships, and to those ships, we drink. Established Member. Amber, smooth, and clear See more ideas about drinking toasts, drinking quotes, funny toasts. I drank to your health so many timesI nearly ruined my own. how smart, or how cute she is. 15+ The Simpsons Trivia Questions & Facts Only Real Fans Know. To those who have seen us at our best and at our worst, and still cant tell the difference., #21. To the two secrets to a long-lasting happy marriage: Heres to a good sense of humor and a short memory!, #15. May your home be a place where friends meet, family gathers and love grows. May your bank account always be like the capital of Ireland always Dublin. Yet remain a loser After all, a good sense of humor is important in every relationship. And mine is the last voice you hear. It's time for a toast. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. May she smile upon you. 41.) Another day another bender. And those that dont can go to hell., 27. There are good ships, and there are wood ships, ships that sail the sea, but the best ships are friendships, and may they always be., 6. #25. Henry Sambrooke Leigh, Drink, for you know not when you came nor why 34.) Tolkien, 81.) If you cheat, may you cheat death. May our friendship never fail Which Star Wars character is your soulmate? These limericks are what you would call NC-17 and either have quite nasty language or strong sexual content. I dont! but just for you, I will.. Heres to a long life and a merry one,A quick ending and a happy one,A good girl and a pretty one,A cold bottle and another one. Or anyone else whos buying. MDM, A round to the best ", "I don't know half of you half as well as I should like; and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve. And damn your souls, Ill drink it. 22. 3.) Irish Birthday Toasts. 28. Life is a waste of time, and time is a waste of life. Clinking glasses is an even more recent construct than toasting and mainly serves a physical connection to the toast. "Here's to lying, cheating, stealing, and drinkingIf you're going to lie, lie for a friend. The next time you're feeling stumped and speechless, feel free to keep one of these in your back pocket and you're sure to get a few cheers, tears and even a few raised beers. Use. MDM, Heres to steak when youre hungry If yes, Im going to ask you for a small favor. I drank to your health so many times.I nearly ruined my own." No Christmas celebration with the family is complete without a toast. -Here's to heat, not the kind that brings down shacks and shanties, but the kind that brings down bras and panties. Here's to "The Usual". When I love them, I let them. The 26 Drinking Toasts that everyone will enjoy. -Quint. I dont know half of you half as well as I should like;and I like less than half of you half as well as you deserve. Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice., #28. Heres to the woman who wears the red shoes. Heres to the girls who doAnd heres to the girls who dontAnd heres to the girls who say they never will,But when the time comes, wont.But heres to the girls most of all,Who says they never will:I cant. To nights we will never remember, with the friends we will never forget., 25. 11:11a, 1/27/12. 65.) The past is history, the future is a mystery, but today is a gift, because its the present. Click for more. 40.) However, suppose you do not drink alcohol or want to consume less at the moment. May we live to learn well And learn to live well. 0 Shares. Conditions of Better to be a well-known drunkard than an anonymous alcoholic. May the roof above us never fall in, and may we as friends never fall out. (Hunter S. Thompson). I just gotta let him in. To four in the morning! What follows is a carefully assembled selection of the grand stalwarts of the past and fresh shouts from the offices of Modern Drunkard Magazine. 10.) So, let's all get drunk and go to heaven." Irish Proverb: "Drink is the curse of the land. But wheres the fun in that? To us and our success as a group this past year, and to you and your families for health, peace, and more wonderful times in the coming year. Land without rent to you. It has that sauciness of Irish drinking toasts, and it's better than just saying, "Drink up!" "My friends are the best friends. St Patrick's Day Drinking Toast. If people drink without pronouncing toasts or if they repeat some silly one-liner, it is the last stage of alcoholism. But the ocean's not beer and I'm not a duck, so let's drink these pints and get messed up. To somebody, somewhere And, of course, theyre just plain fun! Learn how to do a Mexican drinking toastArriba, abajo, izquierda, derecha, al centro, y pa' dentro!Arriba: Means UP, so put your hand with your drink UP Ab. Anonymous, Let us have wine and women 34. I win all Best Inappropriate Toasts Ever Cheers to beers and legs behind your ears. An Introduction to the Imperative Part of C++. With this said, where can I get the next cold beer bottle? Dance like nobodys watching.Satchel Paige, 73.) May the winds of fortune sail you, may you sail a gentle sea, may it always be the other guy who says:This drinks on me.. Because weve already lost our minds. Whiskey when youre dry Toasts for Women. Naturally, they have quite a few that are just right for New Year's Eve. Tears make you braver. ".here's to maintaining proper Ph Levels in our vaginas, yeast infections!" 2. freshcutgrass 10 yr. ago. They are even wittier than the funny toasts youve read on this page. Anonymous, Raise em high and bold, boys 14. 100 dirty jokes 1000 dirty jokes 50 dirty jokes 69 jokes a dirty joke absolutely hilarious jokes actually funny jokes adult humor adult joke of the day adult jokes bad dad jokes dirty bad dirty jokes bad jokes for adults . May the stay there be as enjoyable as the way there. Most of them are memorable but short funny toasts you can use at any occasion. Just scroll through the entire list to find your favorite toast! Heartbreak makes you wiser. But now I cannot think it When we get drunk, we fall asleep. Always remember to forgetThe things that made you sad.But never forget to rememberThe things that made you glad. Too much of anything is bad, but too much good whiskey is barely enough.Mark Twain, 79.) Wouldnt that be a nice toast to one of your real friends? And real pain to our sham friends. And when they're dead, buried, forgotten- we'll dig them up and fuck them rotting! 5. But almost all of them are the perfect toasts for shots. Heres Why Champagne Is Fucking Overrated, The Fire Inside: The Great Drunkards and What They Drank. 2) Heres a comedian quote that can be used as a funny toast. Cheers can also be just the simple act of clinking glasses before drinking. You might like Old Fashioned Quotes, Captions & Jokes. Heres to the bastards Lord Byron, Heres to the bullets When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. May my stay there be as much fun as my way there! Whether youre celebrating a special occasion or just having a few drinks with friends, these toasts can help make the experience more enjoyable. Anonymous, Lift em high and drain em dry May we never get less But most people like to hear me drink. George Burns, Heres to doing and drinking, God, in his goodness, sent the grapes, to cheer both great and small; little fools will drink too much, and great fools none at all., 13. ToastsforMen | ToastsforWomen | GayToasts | ToastAnecdotes | BawdyDefinitions | AntiquatedBawdyToasts | BawdyGermanToasts | CheersBigEars Irish Drinking Toasts. So someone get a ladder. So lets get wasted all of the time and have the time of our life., #6. We couldnt have done it without you.. Some people like to start with a quote or funny saying. 2. But those ships may sink. If you like what you read, youll also like these Thanksgiving jokes. A child every year to you. If youre going to cheat, cheat death. 53.) Im sure youll agree with my opinion because its really witty. I drank to your health alone. Time is never wasted. Heres to those who wish us well,All the rest can go to h. If you are looking for some extra entertainment to lighten up your party, check out these 17 Drinking Games. When I lie down I never know whether to pity or congratulate a man on coming to his senses., #14. No retreat no surrender. Our mission is to deliver fresh and enjoyable content. May you get so drunk you start thinking your problems are your greatest asset. Suggested read: 15+ The Simpsons Trivia Questions & Facts Only Real Fans Know. 33.) And mine is the last voice you hear.. 37. So if you like this, Heres to the hot messes, the ones who somehow manage to turn every situation into a disaster. Thank you for reading. 20.) You are an exemplary father, who possesses all the attributes of honesty, thoughtfulness, love, faithfulness, integrity, gentleness, purity, and devotion. Heres to alcohol, the rose-colored glasses of life.F. And if we ever disagree, Well, fuck you and here's to me. Artificial intelligence wrote some of them. Looking for some fun party games to liven up your next get-together? We cradle all our sorrows to sleep. MDM, Drink like a lion But not too many toastings, lest you lose yourself, and then forget about good Patrick and see all those snakes again. Mirth and laughter In that case, it is perfectly acceptable to thank the person for the toast without drinking. Suggested read: Top 9 Birthday Party Games for Adults. But never about our thirst. If you like this funny Irish toast created by AI, youll also like this totally awesome list of 55Best Funny Irish Blessings, Sayings, & Proverbs. May they continue to manipulate world events to their advantage and keep us mere humans in the dark. Heres to stealing, cheating, and lying: may you steal someones heart, cheat death, and lie with your love. From Drinking Song, J. Webley: A toast to Mary, A girl I once loved, Oh Lord, why do things have to die? May God bless old Ireland, that's this . Funny drinking toasts are the perfect way to liven up any evening out with friends. Acute Middle Left Abdominal Pain: When to Call the Doctor? As the experience of my amateur theatre group shows, even when Russians become teetotallers, they still pronounce elaborate toasts, raising their cups of tea. May misfortune follow you the rest of your life,And never catch up. "Here's to a long life and a merry one, a quick ending and a happy one, a good girl and a pretty one, a cold bottle and another one." #2. So do memorize them and use them at your next Thanksgiving dinner. This is such a big honor for me to toast you. Heres to the women who love me terribly. I wont. Drink to life and the passing show And the eyes of the prettiest girl you know. 4.) 40 of the Best Drinking Toasts 1. Job Automation Using ChatGPT Could Make These Jobs Obsolete Is Your Job On, 18 Weird Facts About Sea-Monkeys You Wont Believe Are True, Including Their, Top 200 Nielsen DMA Rankings (2023) Full List, 7 Pictures Of Naked People Captured By Googles Cameras, The Surprising Story Behind The NBC Chimes, How To Change The Default LG TV Home Screen To Live TV, 20 Famous People Who Are Members Of The Sleepless Elite, Controversial Nimbus 2000 Vibrating Harry Potter Broomstick Has Parents In An Uproar, The Best Caddyshack Quotes: 30 Famous Caddyshack Quotes Thatll Make You Laugh, Is Your Hatch Restore Already Registered? Heres to those who wish us well, all the rest can go to hell. I don't know about you, but I'm the least articulate person around after a few beers. Like we alcoholics. 13.) When we get drunk, we fall asleep. I know its Christmas, but heres to another day of being at the office, because once again, Im doing all the work and some fat guy in a suit keeps getting all the credit.. A well-delivered toast can mean the difference between a good night and a great night. Here are some hilarious and lighthearted drinking toasts you can make when youre out drinking with your friends. Next to a circus, there aint nothing that packs up and tears out faster than the Christmas spirit., #27. Hunter S. Thompson, Drinks are on the house Let us drink to bread, for without bread, there would be no toast. Heres to the big bull in the wood.He does the cows and heifers good.If it werent for his long, long rod,Then what would we do for beef, by God?Mark Twain, More famous toasts in history and literature, 71.) In the second year of marriage, the woman speaks and the man listens. Willard Scott, May the devil take our enemies tongues 3.) So lets get wasted and have the time of our life. 10.) ", "I would rather be here, with the people in this room, than with the best people in the world! Sure, you could just say cheers before taking a sip of your drink. Heres to women, beer and song, may none of them be flat., 3. W.C. If you must steal, steal kisses. Some people drink from a glass half empty and some drink from a glass half full. ", "May we never go to hell, but always be on our way. Dirty toasts for St. Patrick's Day drunks. Heres to that long straight piece in Tetris. Cheers to the real rulers of the world!, Heres to the humans, those clueless creatures who think theyre in control. 56.) Your favorite tequila battle is back on 4/7/23! I shant. We hope you found some quote within this list that suits you and represents you as a character. But enough about me, heres to you., #12. 30. Lift em high and drain em dry, to the guy who says, My turn to buy., 10. Return to Toast Categories. to . If the ocean was beer and I was a duck, I would swim to the bottom and drink myself up. A round to the worst When we commit no sin, we go to Heaven. Than a bushel of roses white and red Batten down the hatches -Here's to all my friends and lovers. If you Steal, may you steal a lovers heart. Wholl bury our sons God in goodness sent us grapes to cheer, both great and small. Heres to doing and drinking,Not sitting and thinking. One cant deny that English folks are hyped by their breakfast. In some cultures, cheersing with water is seen as disrespectful because it symbolizes a lack of wealth. Rejoice, and be of good cheer!For they are out there, and we are in here! A rich man lives in a castle, a poor man lives by the sea. And vodka makes you not remember any of that crap. Scottish, With this glass, rich and deep Oct 4, 2020 - Explore Nathaniel G's board "military toasts" on Pinterest. May the LORD bless you and keep you; Which one is yours? on Thu, Mar 17, 2011 at 9:12 am. To a good selection, no rejection, a strong erection, a clean injection, and no infection!, 19. May the lilt of Irish laughterlighten every load.May the mist of Irish magicshorten every road.And may all your friends rememberall the favors you are owed.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'humoropedia_com-leader-3','ezslot_13',605,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-leader-3-0'); 12. 1. But a damn sight more sincere. When the glass is full, Drink up! To help those who hate being put on the spot we've combed through Reddit and found 27 of the best toasts to use for almost any occasion. or Getz II or the other bawdy miscellanies. Pre D-Day Toast, In my own country Heartbreak makes you wiser. Would that we could fall. The Irish are famous for their colorful sayings and quotes. -Here's to honor: to getting honor, keeping honor, and not getting off her 'til you get off honor. May we be who our dogs think we are. Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker.Ogden Nash, 68.) 128 Views. Some ships are wooden ships, but those ships may sink.The best ships are friendships, and to those ships, we drink. Life may throw us punches, and knock us on our ass, real friends are there to ease the pain and somehow make you laugh., 30. If the ocean was beer and I was a duck, I'd swim to the bottom and drink myself up. to somebody, somewhere, shes a pain in the ass. All glasses off the table!" 9. Irish, No matter how beautiful As you can see, there are many ways to give a toast. Here is to love that never grows old, and if it does, lets hope by that time were too old to leave each other and start new marriages., #17. A rich man lives in a castle, a poor man lives by the sea. 16.) Not the heat that brings down barns and shanties, but the heat that brings down bras and panties. Ive always wanted to create a space where I can express my creativity and explore various topics that interest me. Better to be a well-known drunkard than an anonymous alcoholic. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. I have known many, liked not a few, loved only one, I drink to you. So fill your glass to anything, And damn your souls, I'll drink it!" "I love to drink martinis. May we continue to go about our daily lives, completely unaware of the fact that were being controlled by superior beings from outer space. Theyre perfect for any party. Powered by BizBudding Inc. 10 Funny Irish Toasts That Are Easy To Memorize, 15 Dirty Irish Pick Up Lines That Will Probably Get You Slapped, 10 Rejected St. Patricks Day Playlist Songs. 21. Video shows Florida alligator easily blasting through a metal fence, Despite zoning law, Tampa city council candidate Blake Casper is using his Bayshore homes as commercial sites. poke her in the butt, and you won't knock her up! And drink like a true Irishman. See 7 things You Need to Know About Wordle. And lean well over the rail. Be warned, though: a few may not be suitable for all audiences, so choose wisely. ". May all your hot dates end up in your bed. MDM, Our enemies never drink Here's to the King! Over the teeth, over the gums,Look out, stomach, here it comes! Anonymous To the rapturous, wild, and ineffable pleasure Of drinking at somebody else's expense. To the kisses weve snatched, and vice versa. 39.) -Heres to Hell! (Mark Twain). 31.) May you have nicer legs than yours under the table before the new spuds are up. Not sitting and thinking. Now let's get to drinking! 7. Francis Bacon, When I dream of Heaven 62.) 18. Don't forget to SUBSCRIBE: http://bit.ly/SubAmariWant to work with us? Friends may come and friends may go, but liquor comes to soothe the blow., 22. Francois Villon, Heres to whiskey, scotch and rye Toasting is a social convention that takes place in both formal and informal social groups. 36.) Bawdy Drinking Toasts Here are bawdy, erotic or scatological toasts that can be said by either gender. But a whiskey glass and a fat girls ass are home, sweet home to me. Happy birthday! ", "To our wives and girlfriends may they never meet", "Here's to the floor, who will hold you when no one else will. And vodka makes you not remember any of that crap. Your email address will not be published. 1.) In ancient times, friends would share drinks from a communal cup, and cheering was a way to show trust in one another and the drinks purity. A bird never flew on one wing. What sobriety makes glum. A cold drinkand another one. To every lovable girl in the land,I offer this little libation.For if ever they all left the country at once,Wed be left in a state of stagnation. Henry Sambrooke Leigh Drink, for you know not when you came nor why Drink, for you know not why you go nor whence. 17.) 12. Learn more about one of Americas favorite drinks, the Bloody Mary. Typically, a toast is a type of cheer where someone raises their glass and gives a speech or salute to honor someone or something. So lets get toasting with the help of our robotic friends! Here are some funny drinking toasts to make birthdays more special and induce gales of laughter. P.J. If we're out for a night of drinking with our friends or pals, things should be fun and interesting! Heres to the floor, who will hold you when no one else will.May we get what we want, but never what we deserve. Prince. Heres to being naughty and saving Santa a trip., #29. In ancient Greece, cheersing while drinking has been an important tradition. But now I cannot think it. Ill do the same. 26. However, I assure you that this page still has the best funny drinking toasts for friends youll find. Here are some funny Christmas toasts to help you make the most out of the beautiful memories of Christmas. But the oceans not beer and Im not a duck, so lets drink these pints and get messed up. Here's to those who sit when they pee. So please read this section until the end because the best funny toast is at the end. 35.) below:Here's to me. I say good night Heres to the big bull in the wood.He does the cows and heifers good.If it werent for his long, long rod,Then what would we do for beef, by God? Pain makes you stronger. God in goodness sent us grapes to cheer both great and small.Little fools drink too much, and great fools not at all! We meet to be merry, then let us part wise. So fill your glass to anything Here's to the brilliant, warm, handsome. Four blessings upon you. When I let them, I loose them. Check out our collection of 100+ party games for all ages! In contrast, others jump right into stating what or who they are toasting to. Irish, May you never go to hell The first drink a man drinks is for thirst, the second for nourishment, the third for pleasure, and the fourth for madness., #3. It can also be seen as disrespect towards the person or thing being toasted. AG. Let us toast to animal pleasures, to escapism, to rain on the roof and instant coffee, to unemployment insurance and library cards, to absinthe and good-hearted landlords, to music and warm bodies and contraceptives and to the good life, whatever it is and wherever it happens to be. [1934 Anecdota Americana Second Series] Funny Drinking Toasts for Friends Here are some hilarious and lighthearted drinking toasts you can make when you're out drinking with your friends. #7. Sermons and soda-water Anonymous, Heres to those who wish us well If God wanted us sober, He'd knock the glass . Heres to Dame Fortune; may she smile upon you.May you never meet her daughter, Miss Fortune. Here's to cheating, stealing, fighting, and drinking. To absent friends, lost loves, old gods, and the season of mists, and may each one of us always give the devil his due.Neil Gaiman, Check out these Funny Drinking Quotes & Captions, 80.) Especially if youre an old fellow with an army of memories. George Bernard Shaw, Drink today and drown all sorrow 16. Heres to lesbians, because they have good taste. Little fools drink too much, and great fools not at all! Anonymous, When the going gets weird Life is a waste of time, and time is a waste of life. These funny drinking toasts will leave you inspired and have the guests rolling with laughter. She steals all your money and drinks all your booze. I drink when I have occasion, and sometimes when I have no occasion.Miguel de Cervantes, 76.) A mans wife has more power over him than the state has., #18. Tears make you braver. Thats right, our robot overlords have infiltrated the world of comedy. The next party is justifiable with this drinking quote, even to your mom. Here's to the guys we fuck and screw. His last words were Drink to me. Who am I to question genius?, 7. Better to be a well-known drunkard than an anonymous alcoholic. I am strong Heres the whores If you are celebrating your second wedding, this quote might be the right one. 61.) A good girl and an honest one,. Its old news Heres to a long life and a happy one, a quick death and an easy one, a good man and an honest one, a cold pint and another one., 16. Three I'm under the table. Now that you know, here are some funny drinking toast ideas you haven't heard: 1. If you like them, please read this page until the end and follow me on Twitter at the link you can find below at the end of the page.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'humoropedia_com-large-mobile-banner-2','ezslot_11',603,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-large-mobile-banner-2-0'); This section of the page is totally awesome. Dec 10, 2020 - Explore Bryan Englehart's board "Drinking toasts" on Pinterest. Marriage is the eye-opener." Pauline Thomason. May we get what we want, but never what we deserve. So fill your glass to anything. I drank to your health in company, I drank to your health alone,I drank to your health so many times, I nearly ruined my own. We meet to be merry, then let us part wise. ", "Here's to panties, they ain't the best thing in the world, but damn close to it! What's your favorite funny drinking toast? Life is a waste of time. 21.) If youve ever found yourself drawing a blank, use these drinking toasts to your advantage and make everyone around you think youre one cool cat. If drinking beer, Could bring her back here, I'd drink the damn place dry, Yes, I'd drink the damn place dry! Francis Beaumont & John Fletcher. C. Fields, 78.) I, Roman Marshanski, based this toast on one of the jokes of a famous comedian. This is one nice toast to bring up at birthday parties. May the saddest day of your future be no worse Than the happiest day of your past. Samuel Johnson, I love to sing and I love to drink Famous Irish Blessing. If you Drink, may you drink with me. http://davidlawmusic.com/blog/2013/9/27/collection-of-drinking-toasts And if you drink, may you drink with me. If you're going to cheat, cheat death. May we live to learn wellAnd learn to live well. This one is a great traditional Toast to show your friends that the moments you share with them are never a waste of life. May the hinges of our friendship never grow rusty. It is customary to take a sip of your drink when someone toasts you.

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